How to be successful without confidence

Have you ever felt that the lack of confidence gets on your own way? That if you had it, then you’d be set? I know I have. Many times! It’s taken me a long time to realise that success was never about confidence in the first place.

WHAT IS CONFIDENCE

Debbie Millman describes it perfectly on this podcast episode with Brené Brown:

Confidence is the successful repetition of any endeavor, that when you can look at the possible future doing this thing and the odds are in your favor that you’ll be able to successfully pull it off, you have confidence to try it, or to do it again.

In other words, confidence comes from doing. You do something over and over and eventually you know you can do it.

The key word here is doing.

Taking action.

And that, needs COURAGE.

Keep moving. One step, small action at a time.

COURAGE NOT CONFIDENCE

For many years I’ve struggled with ‘lack of confidence’, I still do sometimes, like all of us I guess.

The perfectionist in me is VERY loud.

It comes down to questioning:

Am I good enough?

Is my work good enough?

You know that moment when you need to put yourself, or your work out there, and you feel scared of what others may say, react, think about you or your work….You can feel it in your belly. Sometimes you can even put a face to the critic. It’s the fear of being judged.

It may be disguised as lack of confidence or self doubt but it is in fact pure vulnerability. Which is also the birthplace of courage. Is that split second when you decide that despite the discomfort you are feeling, you are going to show up and do the thing.

What I know of myself is that, I work at the best of my ability, always. If you are feeling vulnerable, remember this, nobody can ever shame you for doing your best.

When your inner critic, perfectionist-self want to take over, remind yourself to choose courage. Keep showing up, getting up after disappointments, learning the hard lessons, doing the work every day, trying again and again. Doing your best.

No more putting ourselves on hold until we feel confident.

If this resonated with you, have a look at this article I wrote about lessons of life and business I’m learning while tending to the garden. It’s March after all, and the weather is absolutely gorgeous as a type!